I date sometimes. No, it doesn’t usually go past one or two dates but then I’ve never been on tinder so how do I expect to find any kind of meaningful connection? Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against actual online dating. I know a few very happily married couples who met that way. Excuse me but, tinder is not that, I know it’s not news to you. (If you met the love of your life on tinder, my apologies.) Like I said, I date sometimes. I am in no way a guru. Seriously. If you’re looking for dating tips, I am not your girl. I am picky in my old age. I have had only one meaningful healthy grown-up relationship while in my 20’s. I have called two men my boyfriend (not at the same time), however ‘healthy’ and ‘grown-up’ did not apply to the first one. Loved him dearly of course but don’t worry, he’s probably not reading this. Anyway. The healthy experience I had with a relationship set the bar pretty freakin high and my reaction to most first dates since then has been ‘ehhhhh’ or ‘I’m not repulsed by him’. Again, I am sure none of those other guys are reading this. If you are, yes you are the exception and we’re still dating, didn’t you know?
I’m picky about my feelings. When I say I’m picky I don’t mean he has to work a certain job, drive a certain truck or not have his nipples pierced—no actually I do mean one of those but I’m not telling which! It takes a certain type of person to make me feel both comfortable with and attracted to at the same time. I do have a type that I’m generally attracted to/comfortable with and they all have the same thing in common: TRUCKS! Just kidding. It’s confidence. I believe I’m attracted to this quality not because it’s something I have as well but because I lack it in a few areas of my life. I am confident in my many talents...until I fail to hit a high note, sew a straight seam or execute a pirouette. I was never good at this in the first place so why did I even try?? I am confident in my looks....until my skin breaks out (more than usual), my hair is flat, or I eat a cheeseburger and can’t fit into my jeans for three days. That’s it. I’m never leaving the house and I’ll die an old maid. Yes I come across as very sure of myself but if I lose that feeling with each of those tiny mistakes or flaws, clearly I am not actually confident. And how can I then require that quality in a mate? If you have the person that is perfect for you, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re perfect for them. Maybe opposites can attract and balance each other out in this area but if you wouldn’t settle, why would you expect them to?